Life with Mom
In her good-natured way, my mother tells me every day that she’s homeless. I stopped telling her that she’s not homeless because it seems to upset her because she thinks that I don’t believe her or I’m not taking her seriously. So, I now say that I know she’s homeless and that if she doesn’t have any place to stay “tonight”, she’s welcomed to stay with us. She looks relieved every time I tell her this and just wants me to clear it with my husband. So, I ask Brian if it’s OK that she stay with us each night, and he says only if her cat can stay too. She gets that this is a joke and we all laugh. My bother’s girlfriend heard me ask Brian one night if my mother could stay, and she was mortified that I actually “had” to ask him. The girlfriend didn’t hear my mother ask me to clear it with Brian, and wasn’t aware that I really have to do this for Mom to be satisfied because she thinks she’s imposing.
She also asks quite frequently how we got here. Sometimes I tell her we arrived by bus, train, or car, but the other night I told her we arrived by space ship, and that the space ship landed in the side yard. She laughed and can’t figure out why I don’t give her a serious answer. Often, I try to amuse myself while also trying to make her smile. It works most of the time.
Sometimes, she just doesn’t know who I am. She often asks me if I know Brian Sikorski (my husband) and when I tell her I’m married to him, she’s shocked because she thinks his wife is someone else. She calls his wife Diane Sikorski. (I never changed my name when we got married 22 years ago).
Just last night, she told me that Diane Sikorski was married to Brian Sikorski. So, to amuse myself, I began this conversation:
Me: That Diane Sikorski must be one heck of a gal!
Mom: She’s OK.
Me: Is she beautiful?
Mom: No…not really. (Hahahaha…laugh to myself)
Me: Is she smart?
Mom: Kind of. (Laugh again to myself)
Me: Is she funny?
Mom: Not especially. (I couldn’t hold it in any longer…laughed out loud!)
Me: That Brian Sikorski didn’t marry too well, did he?
The conversation ended because I couldn’t stop laughing. She laughed along.
So, next time the space ship lands, I’m going to personally put Diane Sikorski on it and send her to the moon.
She needs a little vacation any way.